Crete isn't too bad^^

Right now I'm sitting at a sucky "computer-station" at the hotel, just got out of my ruined sofa-bed in the apparments livingroom. But hey, I'm in Crete<3
We left from home at 3 am, so the night before I decided not to go to sleep. I talked to people on messenger the whole time, alot with one of my best friends. That one conversation made me happier than I've been for a while with all the stress around getting in to school and stuff. It just kind of all went away.. You're an angel, I love yah<3
Anyways, my family and I are here for a week. Before we got to the hotel, my parents told me we were staying at a golf resort up in the mountains. Luckily there's a pool, so all I do is lay on a sunbed with a Corona and listen to music. The evenings kind of suck though. It's me, my parents and my grandparents. Of course, my father and grandfather can't agree on anything and my mom and grandmother talk about the most uninteresting things. Mostly I pretend to listen and look up at the stars. It's amazing how many of them you can see when there's hardly any light around you..
And of course, the sunrises and sunsets are AMAZING! I think I'll have to move down here and get a Vespa, (that's my only wish, I reeaally want one! xD), and live to see the sunsets and stars while going clubbing on the weekends. Yeah, I'm such a dramatic dreamer.

Little, black, stupid cloud..

I don't feel like I have time for anything anymore. I feel I have to chose between friends and an education. I've dug a hole so deep I can't get out. And I miss the time when all I had to do was take a step out of a pit. I miss the joy I used to feel just dancing in front of a crowd or hanging out with my friends. There's like an anoying, big black cloud hanging over my head at the moment and whatever I do, it doesn't go away, lately it's just been growing.

So I don't know if I'm gonna get into a school. I don't know if we're going to Crete tomorrow or not. And I don't know if I'm gonna have my friends for the rest of my life. But I sure hope so. It looks like I'm stuck in a rut of bad luck. I just need something positive to happen so I can keep my hopes up. Something to break the chain of bad luck and turn it into a good one, make the dark cloud above my head a little smaller. Hopefully, one day, it'll be completly gone.


Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know
- Home, Michael Bublé

Wish I could express myself through music..

What do you do when you can't explain your feeling to people? What would you do if you needed to explain something, but just couldn't find the words? This is what I feel like every singel day. I have so much to say, but I can't get it out, at least not in a way that makes sense to anyone else but me.
So what do you do when all of your thoughts are piling up and you can't get them out? I write mine down as poems, song lyrics or blogs. Music is, of course one of the things that affects me the most and reflects my mood. I wish I could express myself the way singers can through their songs. It's weird how you can read someone's personality just by listening to a song. That's one of the things I love about music.
Here's some phrases from different songs that make me feel better when I'm having bad days:

"I am walkin' on the edge, that's where I want to be.
And I need to know you'll catch me if I fall."
Walking on the Edge – Jon

"It's a supernatural delight
Everybody was dancing in the moonlight"
Dancing in the Moonlight - Toploader

"When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind"
The Remedy - Jason Mraz

"I never meant to cause you trouble,
And I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
O no, I never meant to do you harm."
Trouble - Coldplay

"Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right"
Here comes the sun - The Beatles

"Dont worry
about a thing.
Cause every little thing
is gonna be allright."
Three little birds - Bob Marley

Sucky school system and missing friends

I got a text from the school district yesterday. The admission office had finalised who gets in to which schools. Pheeu. Finally. I could just log on and accept my spot..
So I logged on, and guess what. I'm on the waitinglist. I didn't get in! What the fuck do I do!? I hate the sucky school system in Norway. Of course, Mom freaked out and she's making me apply to all these privat schools.. Can someone kill me?

As if that wasn't enough, some of my best friends left yesterday too.. I'm not gonna see them till August and I miss them already! I hate not having my friends close. It makes me feel more alone than ever. I wake up in the morning and there's no one to call and ask «What's up?»..
Well, I guess I'll be waiting patiently till late July, cause that's when my friends get back and I find out if I get into a school or not..


"I've been waiting a long time
For this moment to come
I'm destined for anything at all.."
Waiting – Green Day

When did it all get so complicated? Time just seems to disappear, I don't have time to do anything, not even think. I need to clear my head to see where I'm heading, but I can't find the time.
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and undo what I did, but it went by so fast, and in the end, there's no time to fix it. I miss being a kid, with no problems or worries, that could just live life to the fullest. I think too much about everything and, sometimes, my brain just short-circuits and I end up doing some stupid things. It can make stuff I already messed up better, or it can ruin everthing. Well, we all have to live with our mistakes..


"It gets so complicated in my mind
And I don’t know why
It gets so complicated all the time
No matter how hard I try.."
- Complicated, Forty Deuce

Trainride

So, I'm sitting on the train.. Been on it for 2 hours, 5 more to go. Listening to my best companion, music, and looking out the window. I see trees, deep valleys, high mountain peaks, the ones furthest away covered in snow. Rivers slithering their way among the rocks. All of a sudden, there's a bald spot in this semi-perfect landscape. At the same time, I start noticing all the garbage littering the my view and all the roads and electrical lines. The beautiful sun isn't shining as brightly as it was, but hiding behind the big, ugly, grey clouds. It's like they're invading its space. Two random building-cranes..What are they doing there? What are we doing to our world? Then, total darkness. It feels cold and sad. It's another tunnel. Soon the mountains reappear. But will our world turn as cold and sad as the tunnels if we don't do anything soon?

I'm higher up in the mountains now. The snow's right next to me. I wish I could touch it. I see no garbage, roads or electrical lines. It's only me, my music and the beautiful sight of the mountains touching the plains, the plains covered in flowers stretching for the sky and the shy sun behind the clouds.

Welcome to my life

Hey y'all..
So my name's Kamilla, I live in Norway. And no, it's not the capitol of Sweden, it's the country next to it^^ I love music, and talking about everything and nothing at all. I'm 17, I go to school and I guess I'm just one of those normal people.. Yey..
So what do we have to do in this world to stand out or just become visible? And why are some people so freakin good at it and others suck? I'd like to know that secret.. Okay, right now I'm making myself look like a total loner without friends. Well, I have loving parents that aren't divorced, I have a great big sister who is also my best friend and biggest enemy, of course, and I have lots of caring friends. Well, sometimes I feel like I have everything I need. But there are other times where I feel like the loneliest person on earth. Like I'm missing something. Does that make any sense?
Wow, didn't this get a little too depressing? xD Well, there's my thoughts on things^^



"Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
and no one understands you.."
- Welcome to my life - Simple Plan